yo this xanga shyt is not so poppin !!!  I say its time for a change !!

NEW XANGA:  http://www.xanga.com/xCERTIFIED_bebax

GOODBYE LOKA_217 AND HELLO xCERTIFIED_bebax  ..

This wont be thA last of meee

ThA SaGa cOnTiNue'S .....................

YO I WISH I CAN JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worst night in my fuqqin life 1-21-05 .. my life is so bad you can't even imagine the shyt I went through last night .. im glad that i had people there for me and to understand what was going on .. I can't live in this house with a father like mine .. especially after what he did to me .. it hurts me to say this but this is the truth .. How much I love my father i will never look at him the same AGAIN

yall just dont understand

To Veronica: YO MAMA IM SOOOO SORRY THAT I WASN'T HAPPY LIKE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT YOUR PARTY .. YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING AND FOR BEING THERE FOR ME .. I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING !!

To Nana: NANA I LOVE U SOOO FUCKING MUCH !! DAM YO THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR ME YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANT TO ME .. IM GLAD I HAVE YOU AS MY FRIEND AND IM GLAD TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR ME ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE SHYT THAT HAPPENED !! .. THANK YOU FOR STAYING ON THE PHONE WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME UNTIL I FELL ASLEEP .. I KNOW THAT IF ANYTHING AGAIN HAPPENS YOU WILL BE THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT !! THANK YOU FOR CALLING MY MOM AND LETTING HER KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED. I LOVE U SO MUCH !! THANK YOU FOR BEING APART OF MY LIFE .. YOU CAN MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN SHYT IS ROUGH AND IM THANKFUL FOR THAT .. I KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP .. IM SORRY THAT I SCARED YOU AND THAT YOU CRIED BUT YOU CRIED OUT OF SYMPATHY FOR ME AND WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH .. IM SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO HEAR EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID AND HEAR EVERYTHING YOU HEARD .. IM THANKFUL ONCE AGAIN THAT YOU ARE IN MY LIFE AND ARE HELPING ME THROUGH THIS TIME.

To Cynthia: DAMN YOU CYNTHIA !! I LOVE U TOOOO .. YOU MADE ME CRY WHEN I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH YOU .. THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME AND SEEING IF I WAS OK IN THIS HOUSE AND THANK YOU FOR OFFERING TO PICK ME UP AND TAKE ME WITH YOU .. IM GLAD THAT I HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE .. HOPEFULY IF THINGS GET AS WORSE AS THEY DID LAST NIGHT THAT OFFER STILL STANDS WITH ME GOING TO YOUR HOUSE .. DAM GIRL THANK YOU FOR THAT PHONE CALL .. YOU MADE ME CRYYYY AND THANK YOU FOR TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH ME JUST NOW N HELPING ME CALM DOWN AFTER MY MOM LEFT ME HERE .. WE HAD A GOOD ASS TALK .. I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME !!

To Tori: YO MAMA MAH FAULT FOR LAST NIGHT WHEN I HAD FIRST GOT TO THE PLACE .. I FELT BAD AFTER THAT I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE .. BUT YOU MADE ME HAVE FUN CAUSE YOU'RE TORI !! ME N YOU HAD FUN WITH DANCING OUR SALSA THANK YOU FOR DANCING WITH ME AND GETTING MY MIND OFF OF THIS SHYT !!  I LOVE  YOUUU

to any one else who was tryin to help me thank u .. this is the worse time in my life and I'm glad that I have people like you to help me through this .. Thank You and I Love You ..

 dam son how much i need your love .. It's killing me inside .. I needed to talk to you and I wanted you to help me through this time in my life cause you were the only one that was there for me .. I never stopped loving you and never will .. You are the only one that I have loved so much and even if we aren't together I'm glad that I have you as a friend. I Love You .. 5/14/04 - 9/10/04

ayo0o0o0o0o was good .. well im bored as hell .. i finally got mah outfit for tomorrow !! .. yay me  lol nah but yea cuz tomorrow is mah grl VERO'S sweet 16 !! .. yeaaa man we gonna be havin fun .. lol but yea im kinda upset cuz everybody is goin to tha chruch tomorrow morning n since mah moms is a bitch she was like i couldnt go cuz i had skoo !! honestly who wants to go to skoo .. ima see if i still got to tha chruch wit mah nigga Richard .. if not ima jus not sign in n chill cuz i dont wanna be in skoo by my lonesome !! .. hopefully my mom lets me go to tha chruch wit Richard n his mom n shyt cuz yo0o ima be really mad if she says noo .. but if she says no ima see if i still go wit Richard cuz then after that we gonna chill wit our niggaz in skoo durin they lunch periods cuz me n Richard is gansta like that !! lol if not i think i hope me n Paula do sumin !! HOPEFULLY IF CAEZ SAYS YES !! lol if not maybe me n CheLLe n do sumin !! .. dam i have mah minds full of ideas !!!!!  .. but hopefully we shall see wha happens .. fingers crossed hopefully my plans go out good !!!! IF NOT IMA BE VERY UPSET !!

IN EXACTLY 1 MONTH IS MAH BDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RECAPPIN:

friday night: i ended up around 8 sumin goin out wit mah grl Cynthia n we chilled wit Jamil and his cousin Brandon .. yea mann we jus chilled n shyt

sat. night: dam it had to be the day i get introuble .. me n mamadukez got into a fight bout mah party n shyt n like she was makin it seem like it was her party n shyt for her bday n like that i cant invite all the people i wanna invite .. dam yoo mah moms is so0o0o fuqqin stupid sum times .. she actin liek all this is for her n shyt n that this party aint for MY BDAY !! .. n then for sum reason she took mah cell away from me n then was liek that me n mah sister couldnt go out to tha party that was was supposed to go to .. i was so0o0o fuqqin heated !!

sunday: i was in NY the whole day .. i was chillen wit tha famz for my lil cousin Nicky's bday .. i left Jersey round 11 n i aint come baq till 9 .. dam we had fun .. we went to like a sportsworld kinda place in upstate NY cuz thats where mah aunt lives n then after that we went to mah Ti-Ti Kathy's house looked at sum old ass picturess lol n then we went out to eat .. the WHOLE family .. lol i had fun n before we left the house mah mom gave me baq my phone n shyt so i was lil happy lol